Abhanga 3531
Keep real distance from arrogant, two-faced people, since kindness cannot change a nature that was never capable of receiving it.
The verse
उद्धत त्या जाती । द्रवें रंगल्या उद्धती ॥१॥
म्हणऊनि बहु फार । त्यांसी असावें अंतर ॥ध्रु.॥
कैंचें पाठी पोट । गोडविषासी सेवट ॥२॥
तुका म्हणे सापा । न कळे कुरवाळिलें बापा ॥३॥
Literal translation
Arrogant-jātīs — colored-by-drava-into-arrogance. Keep-much-distance. No-pāṭhī-pōṭa — sweet-poison-ends-same. Tukā: snake-doesn't-know-being-petted, father.
What it means
A sharp 3-verse anti-bad-company text. Arrogant-types are colored by some intoxicant; keep great distance from them; their sweet-talk ends in poison; even if you pet a snake, it doesn't know what petting is. The closing sāpa-doesn't-know-being-petted is a vivid image of inherent-nature that cannot be soothed.
For someone today
Tukaram warns that arrogant, insolent people are, in a sense, intoxicated, colored through and through by their own pride, so the wise response is to keep a wide distance from them. Behind the pleasant face such people often show, he says, there hides a two-facedness, and sweet-seeming talk from them tends to end in the same bitterness as poison. He closes with a vivid image: even if you pet a snake, it doesn't understand affection, its nature stays what it is.
मराठी: उन्मत्त, गर्विष्ठ माणसे जणू कशाने तरी धुंद होऊन गर्वाने रंगून गेलेली असतात, असे तुकाराम सांगतात. म्हणून अशा लोकांपासून खूप दूर राहावे असा सल्ला ते देतात. त्यांच्या गोड बोलण्याआड दुटप्पीपणा लपलेला असतो, आणि शेवटी ते गोड विषासारखेच घातक ठरते. शेवटी तुकाराम सांगतात, साप कितीही कुरवाळला तरी त्याला कुरवाळणे म्हणजे काय हेच कळत नाही, त्याचा स्वभावच तसा असतो.
Where this applies
- When someone charming or persuasive is actually arrogant underneath and you sense you should keep your distance
- When you notice someone's sweet words don't match their true intentions
- When you keep being kind to someone whose harmful nature never changes no matter how you treat them
- When you're deciding whether to stay close to influential but toxic people