Abhanga 3693
Real love shows itself in an inability to bear a loved one's distress, and true intention is always recognizable beneath surface words to someone paying attention.
The verse
प्रीतीचा तो कळवळा । जिव्हाळाचि वेगळा ॥१॥
बहु नेदी रडों माता । दुश्चित होतां धीर नव्हे ॥ध्रु.॥
वरी वरी तोंडापुरतें । मोहोरी तें कळतसे ॥२॥
जाणोनियां नेणता तुका । नव्हे लोकांसारिखा ॥३॥
Literal translation
Prīti's-kaḷavaḷā — jihvāḷa-separate. Mother-doesn't-let-child-cry-much — no-dhīra-when-duścita. Surface-words-only-to-mouth — mōhōrī-known. Tukā-knowing-yet-pretending-not — not-like-other-people.
What it means
A 3-verse mother-doctrine. The kaḷavaḷā (warm-concern) of love is in a separate heart-string. The mother doesn't let the child cry-much — she has no patience when he's anxious. Surface-words come to the mouth — but the seal-mark is known. Tukā knowing-yet-pretending-not is not like-other-people. The line bahu nēdī raḍōm mātā (the mother doesn't let the child cry much) is observational-perfect.
For someone today
Tukaram observes that real love carries a warm concern that comes from a heartstring all its own, something separate from ordinary feeling. A true mother simply cannot bear to let her child cry for long, she loses her patience the moment she sees him anxious and rushes to comfort him. He notes that surface words spoken only for show are easy to produce, but the real mark of true intention underneath is always recognizable to someone paying attention. Tukaram says that even though he knows things, he chooses to act as if he doesn't, and in this he is different from ordinary people, who usually do the opposite.
मराठी: तुकाराम सांगतात की खऱ्या प्रेमात एक उब असते, जी एका वेगळ्याच जिव्हाळ्याच्या नात्यातून येते, सामान्य भावनेपेक्षा वेगळी. खरी आई आपल्या मुलाला जास्त वेळ रडू देऊच शकत नाही, मूल अस्वस्थ झाल्याचे दिसताच तिचा धीर सुटतो आणि ती धावत जाऊन त्याला शांत करते. ते सांगतात की केवळ दाखवण्यासाठी बोललेले वरवरचे शब्द सहज निर्माण करता येतात, पण त्यामागचा खरा हेतू लक्ष देणाऱ्याला नेहमीच ओळखता येतो. तुकाराम म्हणतात की त्यांना सर्व काही ठाऊक असूनही ते जाणूनबुजून अनभिज्ञ असल्यासारखे वागतात, आणि यातच ते इतर सामान्य लोकांपेक्षा वेगळे ठरतात, जे सहसा याच्या उलट वागतात.
Where this applies
- When you can't stand seeing someone you love upset for even a moment and rush to comfort them
- When you notice someone's words are polite but their real intention shows through underneath
- When you choose to stay quiet about what you know instead of showing off your understanding
- When you sense that genuine concern feels different from ordinary politeness or duty