Abhanga 4398

Even when desire and anger block your path and your own effort falls short of what others have achieved, keep longing anyway and trust you can be cared for out of love, not merit.

The verse

Literal translation

What it means

A paired-text (2 abhangs run together in source — 4 + 6 verses). The First Part: kāma-krōdha-piled-as-mountains, Ananta-on-the-other-side; the bhakta-cannot-cross; gone-was-Nārāyaṇa; vyartha-this-valued-body. The Second Part: I'm-not-niṣṭhāvanta — without-sevā I-ask-the-wage; no-bhajana-shuddha-bhāva — blame-my-own-fate; the-earlier-bhaktas (countless-viraktas) destroyed-kāma-krōdha-ahamtā; I-have-no-such-strength-but-make-yearning-of-meeting; do-krpā fulfil-the-longing to-keep-your-vow-titles; one-aj̃āta-(unknowing)-child — māyabāpa-raises-it. The image aj̃āta-bāḷaka-pōsita-by-māyabāpa is striking — the infant doesn't-know-or-deserve, yet the mother-father raises it. Pair with 4391 (Lord-as-sūtra-dhārī-puppeteer), 4392 (6-vairī-leave-with-saha).

For someone today

Tukaram describes desire and anger as mountains piled up right in his path, with the infinite left standing far on the other side, impossible for him to leap over or find a way around. He feels his friend Narayana has drifted far away, and confesses that his whole valuable life feels wasted now that he sees this clearly. He is brutally honest about himself, admitting he is not truly steadfast, that he barely practices real devotion, and that if anything is to blame it is his own fortune, not anyone else. He notices that countless devotees before him, true renunciants, actually managed to destroy their desire, anger, and pride, but he admits he simply does not have that same strength in himself. Still, he does not give up, he keeps yearning for that meeting anyway, and ends with a tender image, comparing himself to a completely unaware infant who is still lovingly raised and cared for by its parents, not because it has earned anything, but simply because that is what parents do.

मराठी: तुकाराम काम आणि क्रोध यांना आपल्या वाटेत उभे राहिलेल्या पर्वतांसारखे वर्णन करतात, आणि अनंत त्या पर्वतांच्या पलीकडे दूर उभा असतो, तो ना ओलांडता येतो ना त्याभोवती वाट सापडते. आपला सखा नारायण दूर निघून गेल्यासारखे त्यांना वाटते, आणि हे स्पष्ट दिसल्यावर आपले हे मौल्यवान आयुष्य व्यर्थ गेल्याची कबुली ते देतात. ते स्वतःबद्दल अत्यंत प्रामाणिक आहेत — आपण खरोखर स्थिर नाही, शुद्ध भावाने भजन घडतच नाही, आणि यात दोष असेल तर तो कुणाचा नसून आपल्याच नशिबाचा आहे असे ते मान्य करतात. आधीच्या असंख्य भक्तांनी, खऱ्या विरक्तांनी, आपला काम-क्रोध-अहंकार पार नष्ट केला हे त्यांना दिसते, पण आपल्यात तितकी ताकद नाही हे ते कबूल करतात. तरीही ते हार मानत नाहीत, भेटीची आस धरतच राहतात, आणि शेवटी एक हळुवार प्रतिमा मांडतात — पूर्ण अजाण बाळाला मायबाप त्याने काही कमावले म्हणून नव्हे, तर केवळ तेच त्यांचे कर्तव्य आहे म्हणून प्रेमाने वाढवतात, तसेच आपल्यालाही सांभाळावे अशी विनवणी करतात.

Where this applies

• When anger or desire feel like an impassable wall between you and the person you want to become
• When you honestly admit your own discipline or devotion falls short compared to people you admire
• When you feel you lack the strength others clearly had, yet you refuse to stop longing for growth
• When you need to trust that you can be cared for simply out of love, not because you have earned it

Related verses

• Abhanga 4481 — Tukaram promises that sincerely calling on the Lord's name, knowingly or unknowingly, with
• Abhanga 4482 — Tukaram teaches that no ritual equals sincerely speaking the Lord's name, that self-center
• Abhanga 4483 — Tukaram tells of the gopis whose all-consuming secret longing for Krishna, hidden beneath
• Abhanga 4495 — Tukaram tells how Krishna's mother and the cowherd families, absorbed in their own practic